看笑话学英语

下面是本站小编整理的看笑话学英语，欢迎大家阅读!

　　看笑话学英语：Quick Cleanup快速清扫

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you.for not looking in the bathtub."

不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”

　　看笑话学英语：Christmas Eve Service平安夜礼拜

Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"

就在我开始平安夜祷告时，教堂停电了。教堂里的接待人员和我找到一些蜡烛，把它们放在礼堂周围。然后我重返讲道坛，整理了一下笔记后，我说：“刚才我讲到哪儿了?”传来一阵不耐烦的声音：“马上就讲完了!”

　　看笑话学英语：Coins in American Currency 美国的硬币

There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).

Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.

Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.

One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。硬币是按下列币值铸造的：一美分，五美分，十美分，二十五美分，五十美分。

硬币也叫"零钱"，"小钱"，或"银币"，虽然它们不再是用银子铸成的。总的说来，硬币是通过大小来识别的，但总有人把十美分搞错，它比五美分和一美分都要小。其他的都按币值的大小顺序排列。

还有一点要说明：你不能伸出手，托出一把纸币和硬币而希望别人从你那里拿走数目正确的零钱。这在任何西方国家都是不好的。

　　看笑话学英语：Now We Run 现在我们跑吧

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

一个牧师正沿着街走路，这时他看到街对面有个小男孩正试图按一所房子的门铃。但这个小孩太小了，门铃又高，他够不着。看到那个小男孩费了很多劲，牧师走近了他。牧师优雅地穿过马路，走到小家伙的背后，轻轻地把手放在小男孩肩头，按响了门铃。他弯下身子，微笑着问道：“接下来怎么办，孩子?”小男孩回答说：“接下来我们跑。”

　　看笑话学英语：We Left Nothing 我们什么也没留下

Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She

locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman

on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."

When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

"THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"

布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：“家里没人，请不要留下任何东西!” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句：“谢谢!我们什么也没留下!”

　　看笑话学英语：你以为你是谁?Who do you think you are?

The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.

“It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”

“I am the driver.” he said.

公共汽车上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。

“车上太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁?”

“我是司机!”他说。

　　看笑话学英语：疯人院 The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”

　　看笑话学英语：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My

wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,

and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your

position?"

"I’m the people. All I do is pay."

布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子

是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

　　看笑话学英语：喂狗 For the Dog

The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

”先生，什么事?“服务生问。

”我儿子的盘子里剩下许多肉，“父亲说，”能给我们一个袋子吗?我把剩下的东西带回去喂狗。“

”啊呀，爸爸!“儿子激动地叫喊着。”咱家养狗了吗?“