婚礼来临前,情侣都会为这些事而争吵
Wedding planning is basically a part-time job, even if you're working with an experienced planner. Given how high-stress planning can be, it's no surprise that couples tend to butt heads in the weeks and months leading up to the big day. Below, marriage therapists share the most common arguments couples have before walking down the aisle and how to address each.
婚礼策划基本是一份兼职工作，即使你的合作对象是一位经验丰富的策划师。鉴于策划的压力很大，所以情侣们在婚礼到来前的几个月或几周内发生冲突并不奇怪。下面，婚姻治疗师分享了情侣在婚礼前最容易争吵的点，以及如何解决这些争吵。1. His parents won't stop meddling in our wedding plans.
1. 他的父母不停的干预我们的婚礼计划。You and your partner have already chosen the flowers, cake flavor and wedding band. Unfortunately, your soon-to-be mother-in-law has some very strong opinions on those subjects, and her preferences clash with yours. If your partner caves to his or her parents' wishes, that could easily cause strife in your relationship, said Margaret Rutherford, a psychologist in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
你和你的另一半早就选好花、蛋糕和婚戒了。但不幸的是，即将成为你婆婆的那个人却对这些物品有着强烈意见，而且她的喜好和你的选择恰恰相反。如果你的另一半迎合了他/她父母的意思，那你们就很有可能吵架，阿肯色州费耶特维尔的心理学家玛格丽特·卢瑟福说道。
"This isn't about the cake. It's about how strongly a couple holds on to their fairly new commitment to one another when in a strong ― maybe even controlling ― family member's presence."
"这无关乎蛋糕。问题在于：出现一个强势--甚至有点控制人的--家庭成员的情况下，情侣是否能够坚定刚刚许下的承诺。"If you're a people pleaser ― or just an incorrigible parent pleaser ― use this pre-wedding period to show your S.O. that ultimately your allegiance lies with him or her.
如果你喜欢讨好别人--或者是那种无可救药讨好父母的人--那就在婚礼前的准备阶段让你的另一半知道，你最终是忠诚于他/她的！"This is an opportunity to build trust and a sense of respected partnership," Rutherford said. "You and your partner need to talk about how you envision your relationships with both sets of parents. Discuss what kinds of information needs to stay between the two of you and what can be shared. You're likely to have different ideas and need to create a compromise."
"这是建立信任和尊重感的机会，"卢瑟福说道。"你和你的另一半需要谈论你对你和双方父母关系的看法。讨论什么样的事情只能你俩知道，什么样的事情可以和父母分享。你们很有可能持不同意见，需要相互妥协。"2. This wedding is costing an arm and a leg - and we're already on unsure financial footing.
2. 这场婚礼代价太高了--我们的财务状况已经不稳了。Weddings are ungodly expensive, which is why flare-ups about finances often occur during the planning process. One minute you're bickering about the price tag on catering packages, and the next you're hounding each other about when you'll each pay off your student debt.
结婚需要很多钱，所以婚礼策划的过程中，情侣们总会因为财务而争吵。上一秒你们还在为餐饮包装上的价格而争吵，下一秒你们就相互讨论什么时候才能还清学生贷款了。If issues do crop up, lean into the moment and talk about how you feel about your shared financial future, said Alicia H. Clark, a psychologist in Washington, D.C.
华盛顿特区的心理学家艾丽·H.克拉克说道，如果出现了这种问题，请立刻谈论你对你们共同未来财务的看法。
