儿童简短英语笑话阅读
前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面是本站小编带来的儿童简短英语笑话阅读，欢迎阅读!
Guns Buried in the Garden
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.
He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
埋在花园里的枪
一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”
第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”
老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。
儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”
儿童简短英语笑话阅读篇二Who was the first man
A teacher said to her class：
“Who was the first man?”
“George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly.
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
“Because，”said the little boy，“he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
“Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man?”
“I don't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him.”
谁是第一个男人
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人?”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢?”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢?”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
儿童简短英语笑话阅读篇三The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.
漂亮的结婚礼物
我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”
儿童简短英语笑话阅读篇四The Advantage of Noise 噪音的优点
The Advantage of Noise
Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply.
That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.
噪音的优点
每当我驾驶我那辆旧车时速超过55英里时，它就剧烈地震动起来，所以我决定卖掉它。我的第一位买主想买这辆车。围绕是否告诉他这辆车的问题，我经历了一番良心的较量。终于我做了件正确的事情。我想他会放弃这个交易，却对他的回答吃了一惊。
“那没什么，”他说，“我是给我女儿买这车的。如果她抱怨震动的话，那我就知道她开得太快了。”
儿童简短英语笑话阅读篇五Be careful with what you wish for
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
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